Monday, February 23, 2009

Tough Love

I love my parents for being so observant and critical.
But I hate it too because I realize how much of my life I need to change.

My dad visited this reading week and, generally, he had a good impression of me until this weekend when I crashed at a friends place downtown and didn't wake up to see him out.

I had a million missed calls from him because I was playing dodgeball at church and as soon as I got home I called my dad. Good one, Brian.

That's usually how a big intervention-like discussion starts. I mess up and then he tells me about all of the ways I'm not going to succeed in life...unless I change my lifestyle, of course.

Everything from school, church, my social life, EVERYTHING! Both of my parents usually try to give me space to live out my life until they see me mess up waaay too many times to not say anything.

I know I sound like I'm complaining but it's good for me when they come down on me like that. I don't have too many people who rebuke me or call me out on the stupid stuff I do. But all this time, I thought I was doing pretty well for myself in the growing-up part of my life. I'm making better money, I have good friends, and I'm getting by with school.

But I should be doing more with my time. As my dad was saying, I should be doing more full time things and less part time things. Full time meaning, getting my priorities straight, getting my school stuff together and just focusing on that. Everything else coming second.
I'm still not sure how to feel about that but I know for sure, I could be doing more. And I should be.

Why do I always feel like I'm 16 years old? Why can't I just be 21 and feel like I'm 21?

Back to my essay.
Gnite.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Brian! I didn't know you had a blog!
Anyways I totally feel you on what you wrote about. Isn't it called "kitchen-sinking" when they do that? Pull up every other thing you're doing wrong, that's mature of you though to take it in positively~ I feel 16 years old all the time. Even my mom came into my room today and was like "I can't imagine you marrying any time soon because you're like a baby" I cried a little inside. Hahaha anyways toodle-loo!